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I find it very funny when people talk about addictions. But I have heard enough and seen enough to conclude that it is no laughing matter.  However, it is impossible for me to stop believing that it should not be a problem.

The issue of addictions has generated much more attention than it actually deserves and the sole beneficiaries are the NGOs and “help” groups and of course the self help gurus. It is a known fact that anything that is focused upon for so long be it positive or negative only festers, and I will say that addictions, like religion or crime wax strong because we will not stop talking about them.

                                                                          Image courtesy Stathis 1980

Careers have now been created from this professional empathy for people that only require hard truth because believe me, an addict will never quit until he or she decides to, and very often it has little to do with all the “expert” help they get. People who have interacted professionally with addicts know this.

How can people say they cannot but drink alcohol or take drugs or smoke tobacco or have sex?

I consider it most bizarre.

This can only happen where people are so well fed that they have time to indulge in what not.

If you are an addict and you still have your senses intact, enough of it for you to go about seeking others who also have problems of their own to help you, I will recommend that you take a trip to other parts of the world where the little things you take for granted like freedom or even fresh air (let’s not mention food and shelter) are a big deal. Then you will know just how pathetic you are claiming addiction.

Take interest in the lot of people the world over; in war torn territories, in famine ravaged lands, at the scene of natural disasters; places where you can feel the naked human soul, then ask yourself again if you are deserving of any sympathy.

Why do you think there are no such help hysteria for addicts in poor countries and shrinks are very poor poeple there? It is because people there are too hungry to be addicted to anything. Where you even find any kind of addicts, pack them in a room and give them good food for a month and you find that they are cured; easy as you like.

It is the extreme complacency and indolence of rich societies that breed vices like addictions.

It is a different thing all together if you were born in the streets and got exposed to substances you knew nothing about and now you suffer as a result.  Even then it is still up to you as long as your faculties are intact to free yourself the moment you realise you have a problem.

If you believe you have a problem, you can always solve it if you want to.

People just enjoy sympathy and they will do everything to get as much of it as possible. Drinking, smoking, hard drugs and sex are enjoyable, that is why people will always indulge in them and for those that lack self control, it is double fun when they can get sympathy for desert.

If you consider yourself addicted to drinking or smoking please do yourself a favour and stop. If you enjoy these things, go ahead and have your fill but let others be.

I believe if anybody really wants to give up anything he or she would. You don’t even need self help techniques or shrinks or religion. You only need to understand your place in the world and know what really is important.

For the so called sex addicts, you can only label yourself so because you possess functioning sex organs. Had you had to go all over the place seeking help to revive your member then you will know how fortunate you are and keep your thing where it should be and use it only when necessary.

If you want to be a porn star go ahead and become a porn star; at least you will be following your passion. But if you are too embarrassed to admit you belong to the scarlet industry and go about worrying people that you cannot control your sex drive then too bad. Know now that you are a nuisance. The world has better things to worry about.

You only make gurus and shrinks smile to banks at your expense. Ask anyone who has ever been “reformed” and you will be told that it did not come about as a result of anybody else’s genius. You are reformed the day you decide to stop.

My sympathy goes out only to drug addicts. Basically because of the obvious damage the substances they abuse inflict on them. These ones we can tolerate and try to help because they cannot help themselves.

But it does not change the fact that addictions of whatever sort would not enjoy the kind of attention they do today if not for a culture of misplaced priorities that have seen basic values being eroded and blessings turned into curses.

And I cannot see it as anything but ingratitude to good fortune.

You are responsible for yourself. It is as simple as that.

FEAR

We conclude this miniseries looking at the emotion of fear, with particular attention to the myths and the facts therein.

Myths

1. Fear is indicative of weakness

Don’t let anybody kid you. Fear is never indicative of weakness. I dare say that it is the exact opposite. Like I have said from the beginning, we feel emotions to know how to respond to situations. There are times when it is absolutely necessary to backtrack, and at times like that you receive a signal in your brain which may be called fear. Even if it is there is no shame in it.

A coward stands and points at the grave of a brave man

-African proverb

                                                                                Image courtesy ucumari

There is no need compromising yourself in tough situations just because you don’t want to be seen as afraid. If you are in a situation where you face fear, do this, run.

It is hard for me to understand those American families who let their children take part in a crazy charade like the war in Iraq. They let their loved ones participate in what they don’t believe in and when they get killed (what else happens in war?) they carry placards and hit the streets and call for the head of the president.

That is fruitless; medicine after death. The President has his politics to play; you have your children to protect.

Mohammed Ali refused to fight in Vietnam because he feared for his life. He was castigated and humiliated, stripped of his world title and all. But in the years to follow he brought more honour to America than any man of his generation.  And the sweetest part is that today he still lives.

It is fear of what people or the society will say that drives people to accept what they don’t believe in. If you are afraid your child might die don’t let him go to that war. Let them call you unpatriotic but you still have your loved one.

And don’t even tell me you can’t stop your child because it is your responsibility to teach them from the cradle to form good opinions, opinions that can save their lives.

It is only the living that can be a true hero or patriot.

2. Fear is lack of faith.

I don’t buy this either. Fear is fear and faith is faith. When you should be afraid be afraid. Where you should exercise faith do so. Life’s realities are as varied as are circumstances. You are going to have enough opportunities in your life time to demonstrate your faith, but when faced with fear, do the right thing and run.

No amount of faith should make you do what you don’t believe in or what you know is not right. If that gut feeling is stirred when faced with a situation you better listen to it.

Don’t just walk into a situation hoping for the best (which is basically what people call faith anyway). Know what you want and respond to the promptings of your emotions.

Facts

1. Fear is good

We cannot just dismiss fear as an evil emotion because we want to be regarded as strong or brave or developed or whatever else a guru might call it.

You don’t want to spend all your life learning lessons because you may never live to implement them. You don’t want your child to die before you know you should never support a senseless war.

If fear comes, ask yourself, what is my true take on this issue? The moment the question is answered, act accordingly and let them call you whatever.

2. Fear is wisdom

There are times when responding to your fears is the ultimate wisdom.

Does it never happen to you that you meet a person for the first time and a sudden discomfort towards the person arises within you?

You are taught to be the optimist, to not draw conclusions. You even colour your feelings with a new vocabulary. You apply “faith” and deal with the person and end up getting very hurt.

Then you realise you should have listened to your fears but it is too late. No problem. Lesson learned.

But I say to you, don’t spend your entire life learning lessons! Don’t wait to get hurt before you realise that not all human beings are human beings.

It is a privilege to have feelings to warn us. Respond accordingly and save yourself very many years.

Anywhere you turn you will meet situations that require you to take the plunge and hope for the best and if you fail, take the lesson.

What if there is no tomorrow to implement the lesson?

Free your emotions and enjoy living life a day at a time.

In this second part of Free Your Emotions we will look at the sweet old emotion of love.

LOVE

The emotion of love happens to be the most abused of all human emotions. This is so because people do not realise that love as an emotion thrives exclusively in the heart. The moment you subject love to analysis you desecrate it. Love simply should be responded to, and not acted upon.

The age of awareness we now live in has dealt love such a hard blow that people now sit and brainstorm in advance the kind of person they will fall in love with.

                                                                  Image courtesy Paulus Rusyanto

The high rate of divorce experienced today I dare say is a direct consequence of this desecration of the love emotion. You have no business planning whom you will love in advance because your brain is full of wickedness and will always come up with the wrong specimen.

The super guru Tony Robbins sat a year in advance and designed with a pen and paper, the kind of woman he would love to marry. Of course he found her. Fifteen years later he found himself in court seeking divorce.

It is not only when you love for the sake of money or looks or power that you act immorally. If you love because you have determined after turning it over in your conscious or subconscious mind that it is right to do so you are as guilty, and you will fail.

Free your emotion. Let it sour. Love whoever comes to you naturally. For many sophisticated people their loves reside in the villages and country sides but they do not know. The super model Kate Moss found love in the arms of a nonentity and for all that is written about her, love scandal is never mentioned.

Does it not make you wonder how your heart goes out to some “insignificant” person you meet on the streets or at social gatherings or just anywhere?

But instead of letting yourself go you begin to rationalise. You consider your “class”. Look at the rate of heartbreak among the so called people of class.

Please if you discover that you feel love for someone, waste no time, show it. And if you are sure that you do not love somebody, waste no time as well, run as fast as your legs can carry you.

Life is replete with instances of great loves that never were and misery that could have been avoided all owing to people subjecting this grand emotion to analysis.

Is it not instructive to see a “sophisticated” person totally consumed with love for some bumpkin who is probably uneducated and even ugly? And they are so happy together that if you find yourself in their presence you spend the whole time working out the chemistry?

These persons responded to their emotions, and when you do you are bound to get it absolutely right.

Like I said before, emotions were given to us for the purpose of guidance. Certain circumstances do not require mauling over, they simply require response and there is no better response than one that is spontaneous and original.

Do not fall into the trap of turning emotional matters such as love over to your brain. You will only end up with the wrong person and realise first hand how worthless money or looks or power or even marital status can really be.

And like I said in the first part of this post, serious life issues do not answer to the analytical mind. If it were so there would today be more answers than questions.

We will conclude looking next at FEAR.