Get Married Before You Are 25
If you want to be a success and you are not married and you are probably more that 30 (let’s not even think 40) then you are probably dumber that I thought. What are you waiting for? Do you know what you stand to lose running around loose?
I am speaking first to the men folk because I don’t want to contemplate a woman who has passed this age without having hooked somebody. If you are a woman and you have been actively involved in the adult way for at least 5 years prior to your 25th birthday and you have not hooked at least one of your partakers then you are a disgrace.
Please don’t get me wrong. I know marriage is not for everybody and you are under no obligation to stay tied up, but how are you supposed to get your inheritance if you remain like this? Before now you should have done it at least once and the really smart ones twice or even thrice. I’m sure you agree with me that we all deserve some inheritance.
For the men some cultures make it very clear cut. Your father dies, will or no will, his estate belongs to the boys. For the girls, just be patient till you get married, then obtain every secret pertaining to your husbands’ estate and then kill him before his boys are old enough to say daddy! Everybody is happy because now we all have our inheritance.
If you are lucky to be from those cultures where the courts will “kill” the man for you, better. Then you can do it over and over again and then in the end settle for the spinsterhood you were born for (ask Heather Mills, Jenifer Lopez and Juanita Jordan - Michael Jordan’s wife - she got a staggering £80m!). Please ladies, don’t just sit there if you are not yet married. Hook somebody!
Back to the men folk.
Marriage is an institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet
- Mae West (1892-1980)
Please get married before you are 25. Here are a few of what you stand to gain.
1. Support
It doesn’t matter whether it is the right person or not, if you are married before you are 25, the average age at which you should be making your mark in the world, support abounds for you. There is always going to be someone to help you spend your money and you know how much hard work that is for men.
2. Care
I am sure you are aware how hard it is for men to care about little things like birthdays and anniversaries and the like. When you are married there is always someone to relieve you of all that burden. Have a joint bank account and there is even less to worry about. Even if she is a pig farmer, you will see that you have just hired yourself a first rate financial consultant.
3. Love
You will have it monstrous doses. You are going to be so loved that your phone will ring as regularly as you like with the sweet words “where are you?” even before you accept the call. You will be so loved that the text message features of your phone will attract a kind lady who is willing to do free editing work for you every now and then. You are going to be so loved that you mistakenly check out another sisters a*** outside, maybe in a restaurant or anywhere when you are together and you get caught. You are guaranteed an unforgettable exercise for the emancipation of your sweet soul when you get home.
I cannot possibly exhaust the benefits of getting married before your 25th birthday whether you are male or female in this single post. Watch out for the continuation at a later date. But I will end by telling you about a guy I knew who enjoyed the above benefits in such high doses that one day he was leaving his house for work and his dear wife was giving him so much of #3 above that he just fell on his veranda and joined his ancestors. Eye witnesses swore he had a huge smile on his face when they rushed to witness what his wife later termed treachery. Lucky b******.
Guys, now you see why you must hurry to the registry before you are 25 if you desire success.