Innocently Speaking.com

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter

-Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Recent studies have been able to establish a correlation between laughter and happier fuller lives. A simple release of the emotions in the form of laughter can save you one or several visits to the doctor; and much more than that, it can ensure a more tolerable personality, which we all need since life is a collective journey.

                                                                           Image courtesy gigglypaws

Simply put, if you want to live long, among other things laugh more. It is easy to practice, costs nothing and is truly enjoyable. I know it is not quite so easy to be amused these days… food crises, unemployment, drugs, teenage pregnancies and all the troubles of the world.

But if you are not brave enough to put a bullet to your temple it means you are still interested in living, and as long as that remains the case you have no choice really but to make the most of what life has to offer.

So laugh.

Laugh at yourself. Laugh at the world. Laugh at situations.

Have you ever been in a tough trying situation where you have worried and flogged yourself so badly because it seemed like there was no way out of the fix you found yourself, and yet today you are still alive and kicking?

Why then do you let the problems of today make you feel like there will be no tomorrow? I am not saying anything to the effect of some magic formula that will guarantee happiness and a life of eternal bliss. If you are looking for that you are on the wrong planet.

But it is a fact that problems come and go. And the beauty of humanity is that we are always going to get on with life, adapting as necessary. Things happen sometimes and you consider it with the rational mind and conclude that the world is coming to an end for you, but in no time it passes and is again business-as-usual. Shouldn’t that tell you something?

Now consider the alternative to laughter, an ugly frowning disposition. Perhaps your life situation already places you in a position of severe ugliness. Wouldn’t you help yourself by at least colouring your face with a smile or two?

It beats me when I see people who for the sake of sanity should paste a permanent smile on their faces wear a frown expecting pity from the world. That is never going to happen. More often than not people are happy that you are not smiling so while you think you will be noticed for flaunting your ugliness, you will most possibly be making somebody, an enemy maybe, very happy.

Get it that your happiness is your personal responsibility and you will be doing yourself a mighty favour by sparing people the truth of your anguish with just a smile. No, a laugh.

It can do a lot for you. It can give you hope when there is none seemingly. It can fetch you love, friendship, trust because you will be more approachable. You probably frown because you don’t have a job or money or whatever. But the answer might just be a smile away.

Flight attendants, ushers, customer service staff do not do this perpetually for nothing. They know the drawing power of an easy countenance. You don’t have to be pleasant or good looking before they furnish you with the smile; it is what they have to do to bring out the best in you. And it is good for business.

Can you imagine boarding an aircraft with all the risk only to be welcomed by some wretched countenanced person? It will only heighten your anxiety. That pretty much goes for the rest of life.

It is a risky business going about rubbing shoulders on a daily basis with people you don’t know, a next minute you cannot predict. That is why a smiling stranger can easily evoke what is known as love at first sight.

So practise laughter and see the wonders at your disposal. I share this because it works for me. I wrote articles like Get Married Before You’re 25 and Oh Please Persevere because even the so called serious issues of life should not rob us of our mirth.

It really doesn’t matter if you don’t like my idea of getting a laugh. The important thing is that I felt really good writing these articles and those with any molecule of sense will still get the “serious” message I had in mind.

So create your own situation and enjoy a good laugh. It works.

See also FREE YOUR EMOTIONS.

Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labours is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility, in being able to fail in so many different ways.
-Samuel MacChord Crothers

The proliferation of the “how to” resources is doing very well to place a higher than necessary emphasis on those things that we cannot attain. So much so that people now worry more about what they cannot achieve at the expense of what they have. If all you see is how to do this or do that, you mind inadvertently dwells on what you cannot be.

                                                                             Image courtesy gothic girl

I have seen people who have put themselves in the sad situation of “had I had this or that, I would be happier, more successful, more enterprising … but do we really need to be perfect to be successful or happy?

I know it is desirable to be able to overcome our shortcomings. It would just be great for us to be able to live lives free of the burden of imperfection.

But should our lives come to a standstill because we are unable to attain certain perceived “correct” standards?
It worries me that despite the very many “how to” resources out there humanity continues to grapple with the same concerns from all time.

People are still fat. People are still gambling; people are still oversexed, name it.

Trying to conquer imperfections has become a full time preoccupation for many. They put in so much time doing this that it even becomes a habit.

You see, whether you like it or not, you can never achieve it all.We are alive so that we can live above problems and not conquer them. The idea of heaven would not have been any attractive had it been possible for us to be all and attain all here.

If you are fat and you have dreams, please forget the pounds and march on. You spend too many productive hours fanning your complex that you end up doing nothing to add value to your life. Extra weight is not the worst thing that can happen to you. It is paying so much attention to it and leaving many other things undone that can be a disaster in the long run.

Same goes for smoking, sex, or whatever that flaw may be. If you fail at any turn as you fight it, straight away do something positive in response. Start an article. Call a prospective client. Read that report you never got round to, anything.

You will see your imperfection pale into insignificance because you can still have a life it notwithstanding.

Don’t cheat yourself out of living because of a personality defect.

Trust me, even the authors of the “HOW TOs” are themselves fighting one thing or another; very possibly what they are teaching you to conquer.

The more energy you invest into fighting an imperfection the more imperfect you become. It is the way it is. Your flaw reminds you that you are human. You stop being human the day you become perfect.

So please, get up and LIVE.

Remember fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.
-Dr. David M Burns

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If you consider what are called the virtues of mankind, you will find their growth is assisted by education and cultivation.
-Xenophon (434 BC – 355 BC)

Self improvement is a most necessary undertaking if living means anything to you. And like I do on these pages I will straight away tell you that by self improvement I do not propose that you must strive to get a degree from Harvard or Oxford just because you can be whatever you want to be.

                                                                                      image courtesy stompy

Rather I say that you have to be able to evaluate your life situation as honestly as possible and then apply improvement measures that suit you.

Consider the following.

1. Learn a trade.

If deep down within you know you cannot handle higher education please save yourself time and money and go and learn a trade.

In many developing countries it is a very simple process where you get to a man or woman’s shop and with a fee you start at once to receive hands on coaching in a particular skill, be it carpentry or hair dressing or tailoring or whatever for a stipulated time.

It is a most practical alternative even for those that acquired university education by mistake.

2. Embrace vocational education

This is just another way making the same point as above for those living in societies where skill acquisition is properly structured. Vocational education is straightforward clear-cut. A person undergoing vocational training has no illusions as to where he ends up when his training is over. If you are going to be a carpenter or an electrician or painter you know a year or more (depending on the course duration) in advance.

Unemployment is news to you because you always know where to find work and setting up on your own is easy as well. Compare this to going to the university to study psychology or something for a number of years only to come out to go to a bank to find work.

3. Read, it’s cheap

Provided you go for the right books, this is an aspect of self improvement that is readily available wherever you may be or whatever your situation is. There are libraries where you can access books for free, reading societies where you can exchange books and discuss them; and if you need to own your own copies, which everybody should, you can buy at incredibly low prices at charity shops and even used books on the internet.
Good books are products of great minds, and if you suspect your mind is not so great do yourself the favour of tapping into this sure source of wisdom and information and watch the world take on greater meaning for you.

4. Ask questions

If you don’t understand something, ask. There is no shame in displaying your desire to add to your knowledge. Wise people are welcoming of those that ask questions. If someone is unwelcoming of your questions know that the person is ignorant (this includes teachers) and unworthy of the honour. It is an honourable thing to share knowledge; even more so to seek it.

5. Think

You must learn to focus on what is important and reach within for answers. Reflect, consider, judge, whatever you want to call it; but the idea is for you separate yourself and work things out for you. Avoid destructive thoughts as much as possible but “positive thinking” I find hard to understand so I cannot recommend.

Life is a race with ups and downs. If you can wish the downside of things away good luck to you. But don’t deny yourself the joy of reflection. There is undoubted strength in the ability to stay on top of unpleasantness.

Whatever you do, understand that being alive is a sign that you have a race to complete. You cannot run a successful race when you are stagnant. Life is movement. Therefore take the steps to acquire the tools that will take you to where you want to be.

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